Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Now What To Do....

Yesterday, the arrival of my long awaited, not wanted nor asked for, yet being charged for since January but didn't get its use, Peoria stamped garbage tote occurred.  Imagine my excitement.  I've call my contractor to add an addition onto my garage to house the behemoth (which in turn would cause me have to spend money on a building permit).  Yes, I could have got a smaller one, but if the city is going to charge you the same amount for a  Glad sandwich bag sized one or one the size of a swimming pool, well, bang for the buck mentality takes over here.

The question is what to do with my old ones?  If I put garbage in them and set them on the curb, will PDC empty them, leave the sit full and stinky or take the trash AND my garbage cans?

So, I've developed a list to keep track of my options.

1.  Wrap them up in gift wrap and deliver one to Mayor Ardis & one to my city councilman Riggenbach as a thank you gift for thinking I needed to pay for a garbage receptacle that I didn't need.  Kinda like having to write a Thank You note to Aunt Marge for those over sized fuschia underwear she gave you as a birthday present when you were a kid.

2.  Planters.  I could plant new palm trees in them every year just like at O'Brien Field!! 

3.  Take up bass bongo lessons.

4.  List them on Craigslist.  Maybe someone in the city that isn't dictated by wild-eyed hotel & museum spend crazy garbage nazis could use them.

5.  Take them to work.  Take the O3 sprayer to them to clean, disinfect and sanitize.  Then hold the World Championship "Bobbing For Cherry Tomatoes in Ranch Dressing" Contest.  Winner gets the 50+ gallons of slightly used Ranch Dressing and a iceberg lettuce wedge.

6.  A one person stand up hot tub.

7.  Cut off the bottoms and use them for a beachball basketball hoop.

8.  Fill it with water and start a mosquito hatchery.

9.  Penny collection (I wonder what 55 gallons of pennies weighs?)

10.  I could donate them to the new hotel or museum and have a brass name plate permanently affixed upon them like:  These wonderful garbage receptacles were begrudgingly donated by Chef Kevin 

If I weren't half asleep, I probably could think of others....