Wednesday, February 29, 2012

I *heart* Katie Nolan

Somehow I stumbled across a site call On said blog there is a section called Guyism Speed Round which is hosted by Katie Nolan. Yeah, she is cute. Yeah, she appears fairly nicely endowed. But that isn't it (well some of it is); she is F-U-N-N-EEEEEEEEE. Ok, I will admit, not every joke is funny. Before checking out her little M-F video rants, please realize that she swears, isn't politically correct and probably makes fun of people, well, who it probably isn't nice to make fun of. But I regress.

But wait, she also has a blog (that she started before Speed Round) called Bitches Can't Hang which for the most part makes fun of stupid things women do (I know ladies, that is a false statement - another tree fell in the woods).

Ok, now you know how I kill about 5 minutes a day.

Specifically for Emtronics....

This post is for Randall "Emtronics" Emert.

Now, Randall, before you read this, you must swear that:

You are sitting down. Have no heart issues. No overbearing cholesterol issue that could cause a stroke. Or high blood pressure. I don't want the pure shock value of this post to cause you any harm.

Then maybe have a beer or two first. And a massage.

OK, ready? Deep breath.

After about two songs worth of time on the radio, I could finally pull out of GFS ( Gordon Food Service)'s parking lot today turning left on to University about 9 AM. I amazingly hit every light green until I got to Moss Avenue. Granted, I had to slow down for backed-up traffic at Main. My guess is if it wasn't backed up, I would have made that light too.

Are you OK??? I know...shocking isn't it?

I'm guessing the next time this will happen again will be on February 29.

I think I should play the lottery and call up Jessica Biel for a date.

Monday, February 27, 2012


I understand that the governor of IL and other cabinet members/House & Senate are due for a raise.

Really, I thought you got a raise if you were doing a good job? Has anyone out there in bloggerland had this conversation:

Boss: Mr(s). Blogreader, you are doing a horrible job for us. You keep spending our finances like there is an endless supply and other things you do makes people who work here cringe and be pissed off. I think you deserve a raise.

Mr(s). Blogreader: Gee, boss, I thought you were going to can my ass. Thanks, now I can afford a better bottle of scotch and some 28" rims for my AMC Gremlin.

As the State of Illinois finances and reputation are swirling down the toilet fast enough to crack the porcelain, I say no raises for a shitty job.

That, and if the rest of us are suffering through elevated gas prices and about all goods and services will go up again in cost because of it, they can tighten their belts too. Set an example. Governor, I think you can live within your means with a $180,000 a year salary (and don't you live free in some Springfield mansion provided to you by us taxpayers?).

Oh, but wait!!! It isn't the governors idea!! He isn't responsible. Don't blame him for the raise. Blame the legislators who voted for it.

Lets close facilities, lay people off and stop funding so those who make $100,000+ a year (with I'm guessing expenses paid) can get a raise. I call bullshit.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

My Newest Gripe

Here is my latest gripe. What the hell is it with fundraisers? $100 a person. $35 to get in. $150 per person includes dinner. What in the world? Who pays these prices? And then there is usually some over priced auction or some "worthwhile" guest speaker.

With sooo many organizations holding these things, who can afford to go to all of them? The CEO of CAT and the hospitals?

Heck, I can't even pick'll break me before I get in the door.

Seriously fundraising people. Think if you dropped your lofty "cover charges" you could attract more people. Heck, I'd go to more of them if I wasn't made to feel like yours was the only fundraiser that was worthy of my cash. Or maybe you charge this much so people like me don't show up? Maybe that is it.